Dear Parents when your child is 21 and above and living with you, you should treat him/her like a tenant and nothing more.
If you want to collect rent, collect it, but for God's sake don't try to control his/her life just because he's living with you.
That is the stage where thier opinion count. Just assune your child as a tenant and give him/ her his space. This are some of the reason why many African parents assume old age is a curse rather than blessing because of the treble things they have done to thier kids while they are growing up.
Take an instance ...
A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents in to the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment.
When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.
As the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said "Daddy I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The fatherwent home & committed suicide.
Am not advocating for children to abandon thier parents when old age set in, but that is one of the bitter truth why children feel less concern about thier parents at old age.
Why wondering things got to that level and i discover some things....
● The typical african parent is insensitive to the needs and feelings of their children.
● Hardly will an African father "waste time" bothering to have a conversation with his kids, my father never said "i love you" to any of his kids, never took us out, never talked to us except when it was to bark orders at us.
● Spare the rod and spoil the child? Misuse the rod and lose the child!
Most parents compare thier kids to other kids that are doing alright in a certain field
● Some parent will never appreciate thier kids, reason being that it will spoil the kids.
● Parents think the only way to raise a child is to raise them in an atmosphere of fear. sorry it only breeds kids who "fear" but never respect their parents.
● some parents think thier decisions are final and can't be alter even when they realize they are wrong just because they don't want to make thier kid seem right.
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